Kearny the Maleficent

Unlike an earlier example, this is an actual plagiarism piece. That is to say, TFSmith actually ripping off a real author. And the implications go wider, though not hugely wide. So even if you skipped the earlier example, I'd suggest sticking with this one.

Irene Musi-can't (still)

Fair warning: this is another plagiarism post. That means highlighting long sections of text which, in this case, have been copied and pasted from one fictional author to another. It may not be particularly edifying, though I've tried my best to put a decent bit of snark in the comments to liven things up. If you do want to skip this one, there'll be a more interesting piece along any moment. Up to you.

Pilot Light

From chapter 15, part 2:

He had then commissioned and fit out the Pacific Mail merchant steamer California as a commerce raider at Mare Island, and had taken her – now USS California, and known as one of the “three pirates,” along with her sisters Oregon and Panama – on a cruise across the North Pacific as far as Japan and back. Schenck had captured half-a-dozen British merchant ships before running into the Columbia with the sidewheel sloop HMS Leopard (18), Captain Charles Keckie, in hot pursuit. Keckie, absent a bar pilot and knowing nothing about the river, prudently remained off-shore, while Schenck took his cruiser upstream to the Willamette.

...wait. Did Schenk carry a bar pilot for the Columbia River with him all the way out to Japan and back? That's remarkably prescient, considering he set off from San Francisco. It's also very obliging of the pilot to come more than six hundred miles down the coast to join the ship and spend months sailing out to Japan on the off-chance that Schenck will need his services on returning to America.

If not, we're presumably intended to believe that HMS Leopard was in hot pursuit right up to the point where USS California dropped anchor off the Columbia bar and waited for the pilot to come out to meet them. That's certainly in keeping with TFSmith's belief that the British would make no preparations for war between December 1861 and April 1862, but it seems a little... unrealistic.

Perhaps the most likely explanation is that TFSmith thinks that Schenck, who had never served on the coast of the Pacific Northwest, had an innate ability to navigate the Columbia river bar because he happens to be an American. This is rather unfortunate, given that Captain Wilkes abandoned his exploration of Puget Sound when USS Penguin was wrecked on the Columbia bar in 1841. Oddly for someone with such a detailed knowledge of the US Navy in this era, TFSmith never mentions this incident when he discusses how 'littoral operations were hazardous in this era in peacetime', highlights 'the risks of littoral operations', or illustrates how 'peacetime operations in littoral warfare was [sic] not without risk'. The incident is, of course, within the 1841-1881 frame of reference which TFSmith set himself. However, in Burnished Rows of Steel, running aground remains a quintessentially British prerogative.

Incidentally, the rather timid Captain Charles 'Keckie' is in fact Captain Charles Leckie, who commanded the Leopard when she was commissioned in October 1862. It's a good job that TFSmith only uses the most reputable official sources to draw up his timeline, otherwise he might make stupid mistakes.

Dis-raeli Bugs Me

 As we have seen many times, TFSmith has no real liking for British politics. It is not an integral part of his story: it is something that gets in the way of him writing the story of the Union victory. This is why we find such easily avoided errors as Sir George Cornewall Lewis acquiring a double-barelled name as Sir George Cornewall-Lewis. It is also the reason why we get passages like the following:

Eyes on the Prize

TFSmith makes great play of his academic credentials, which makes it all the more enjoyable when he reveals that he's fundamentally misunderstood a particular concept. (For an example of this, take his view of the overall balance of trade between Britain and the Union, where circumstances turned out to be the exact opposite of the way he portrayed it). This kind of revelation often comes in the shortest forms: for instance, a single phrase in chapter 11 part 1 reveals that his whole view of the Union commerce raiding operation is built on a horrendous misunderstanding.

The Price of Entry(port)

TFSmith has his fictitious naval historian Irene Musicant deliver a large fraction of the exposition on the blockade. In spite of the heavy repetition employed in these sections, it is nevertheless clear that he must have written much of it - which opens up interesting questions.

Wrecked with inconsistency

In the timeline Burnished Rows of Steel, a number of ships suffer navigational failures and are lost accidentally. However, essentially all of them are British; this is at odds with the real historical record.

Mississippi Burning (2)

In BROS (chapter 4, part 1), the twenty-year old paddle frigate USS Mississippi encounters a British squadron consisting of the four-year-old screw battleship HMS Edgar (89), the five-year-old screw sloop HMS Racoon (22), and the six-year-old ironclad HMS Terror (16). As we already know, Edgar, Racoon and Terror should not be where they are. However, this is in many respects a minor problem, compared to what we discover when we examine the events of the battle in detail.

Rebel without a corps

With TFSmith having already deleted large numbers of British troops, as well as increasing the number of Union troops over the historical amount, it should not be surprising he also tweaks the numbers of the third major combatant - the Confederacy.

The readers are invited to guess which way this one went.

Nom De Guerre

We have discussed many times before the problems with the author's penultimate "Battle of Berthierville" but here I shall touch on very briefly, why the name itself doesn't actually make any sense.

For starters, think of any civil war battle (for that matter any battle) you know of. The name itself is very descriptive of the location it takes place at, or at the very least describes what and where it is. In the Civil War both sides had different naming conventions. The North usually named battles after the closest town, while the South named them after the local river or landmark. Hence you have the Battle of Antietam also known as the Battle of Sharpsburg, or Bull Run vs Manassas. They at least describe roughly where the battle took place.

The Battle of Berthierville though, seems to take place anywhere but Berthierville.

Missing Man Formation

During the battle of Berthierville (which has still not been entirely explored) we have several descriptions of the number of troops present at various smaller engagements. We also have a description of the number of troops present for the whole battle.

However, when this is more closely examined, it transpires that there is something important missing.

Caught One Handed

One Hand Behind The Back


TFSmith is fond of the idea that the Union fought the Civil War with "one hand behind its back", a phrase coined by Shelby Foote and repeated by TFSmith something in the vicinity of thirty times in the marginalia.

Examining what Shelby Foote actually meant, however, makes it clear that TFSmith does not understand what was meant - certainly not in the context of the Trent War.

Diplomatic Maneuvering

In the marginila of the TL the author lays out his reasoning on how America "Benefits" the European powers in the era. Saying So, all in all, there would have been reasons for the French, Spanish, Prussians, and the Russians to remain "correctly" neutral in an Anglo-American war in 1862; they all had opportunities that are far more likely the longer the British, especially, are involved in North America. Notice of course how they are stated as remaining "correctly" neutral.

The author has laid out each point numerically, so we shall address them as such.

Block Aid

Or, A Sample of Blockade Actions



We can garner some impression of how TFSmith thinks blockades work from his description of actions around New York.

Niagara Fails

It is sometimes impressive for a knowledgeable reader of Burnished Rows of Steel how many mistakes can be put into a single ship's description. Today, as the title might suggest, we are looking into the US frigate Niagara.

Lakes a-Mercy! (3)

At last - humans!